Natural Hair Monologues: Chopped And Screwed


Last year when i decided to go natural, decided it was time for me to try something different  cuz asides everything, I had hair issues and i was tired of the way relaxers made my hair scanty.

So I went looking for inspiration, I checked natural hair blogs, I kept tabs on natural haired women … Looked around the web and I was constantly bombarded with pictures of pretty curly haired ladies,


 Sooo I was like ‘’woohoo! this is a good idea, I’m going to rock this!”


Btw, I wasn’t very true to my transitioning state, I’m a scam basically because I never ever wore my part natural  hair out, except to wash and deep condition occasionally in between protective weave/braid styles.

After a year, as planned I was ready to cut my hair… I got my friend to help out , of course as an igbo girl, with friends who  have hands and are capable, there was no way I was paying anyone shiishii just to cut my hair.

So Yeah, I was excited, “yaayh I’m cutting my hair, team natural..bla bla bla” already thinking of how I’d style my hair to work or wear it to the mall, and have people tripping asking “heey can I take a picture of your hair?” you know.. I had all of that in mind, more like a day dream.


When she was done chopping it off and I looked in the mirror, I almost doubted it was  me staring back.  I looked different, I mean…i had short hair, shorter than I imagined. I kind of imagined it longer because I had gone one year and well…i deserved a few inches more, at least  for the stress.

I kept looking at myself, certain it wasn’t what I bargained for, not what I planned. There were no curls, it wasn’t as nice and sexy as those of natural haired girls dominating tumblr and blogs.


I woke up the next morning and as earlier planned, I strolled  my way to the salon to get braids done . I got there, and told the lady I was natural –only a fair warning– and I unwrapped my scarf. My hair looked weird and funny,  she touched it ………….. and I died. I did a mental perm in my head that moment. LIKE, it was  thicker than wool!


Excuse me,  why dint anyone out-rightly mention that natural hair was a bed of thorns???

My plight wasn’t over. I went through the gates of hell when she started combing it and I sat through the heat for six hours…SIX!

Ladies, if your hair is difficult… please don’t venture. Leave that MANE permed! Its free advice really, except of course you’re ready for the struggle.

  natural hair monologuesn

Well, at the moment, I am not well armed to face  my hair, so I’m happily rocking braids and considering carrying it for,  a year….. lol  joke. but I’ll carry it for as long as possible.

When it’s out, I’m just going to try a couple of things. I have been checking online, ways to make my hair softer, and I have been getting a few tips… honey, aloe Vera, water, oil and all of that. So I’ll be trying these out, plus I have a whole bunch of products I bought while I was transitioning and now I’m not sure which to dump and which to keep. Hopefully soon, I will get all of that figured out and maybe, just maybe this natural hair isn’t going to kill me.


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  • Reply September 12, 2013

    natural hair

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  • Reply December 10, 2014


    LOL! Same thing happened to me. But now I’ve gotten a wind of it all ( or so I choose to believe). My hair is softer, obeys me more and I even found a natural hair salon close to mine.